Forgiveness Experiment - Baltimore, MD

Call Your Mom's first forgiveness experiment took place in January 2019 at the studios of FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture in Baltimore, MD. For the first part of the experiment, we performed public apologies by nameless public figures and had participants hold up YES/NO paddles based on whether a given apology warranted forgiveness. For the second part, we read a series of wrongs and had participants walk a quilted Forgivability Scale from "Easily Atoned" to "Unforgivable." Each participant was given 4 slips of fabric to write specific responses to any of the prompts and pin them on the scale.

Some responses to prompts on the Forgivability Scale: ​“I’ve done that + haven’t forgiven myself, but would forgive others” / "Too emotional to be ideological about it” / “Gaslighting!” / “Would take time + healing + an effort to love (after time)” 

After the two activities, the participants sat down with us to discuss the experience. Here are some notes we wrote down from the discussion:

• What does forgiveness mean? Accountability? Moving on?
• Identities affect everything so it’s hard to think of it in the abstract
• There’s so much grey but justice feels black/white
• Easier to forgive your own assailant than your friend’s assailant
• Forgivability props up the carceral state
• Anything is forgivable in theory but would I forgive is a different question
• Time aspect - how long has it been?
• Forgiveness is taught to women / queer folks as necessity
• Forgiveness as a process vs. as a finished whole
• “Understanding” vs. “Forgiveness”
• You can forgive an act without wanting to ever interact with the perpetrator again
• Accountability not included in these experiments
• Brings up questions about the anonymity of public space, crying in the subway
• Forgiveness can’t be passive
  
• Easier to place yourself in the middle of the pack
• Taking someone’s lunch out of the staff fridge → small acts of colonization
• Simple items can be more loaded because layers / identities brought in
• What if the next Forgiveness Scale is a room with 4 corners? Axes to walk versus one plane
• Could be good to throw in some less abstract ones, marked with identities (name whiteness, cisness)
• It’s good that there is no “neutral/no comment” box
• Next time we could have audience members read some of the prompts, encourage them to put whatever intention they want into it